personal life

my anxiety

rough couple of days.  i couldn’t seem to get my mind and body back on the same page.  but i understand now after a grueling workout how much i need to take care of myself physically.  if i take care of my body, it takes care of my mind.  i need that for myself.  and for some reason, i was denying myself my workouts, healthy eating (both overeating bad stuff and limiting food period), and positive thoughts.

but… i feel much better now.  luckily, my “episodes” pass.  and i know if they get bad enough, i need to go straight back to my doctor and/or counselor.  when it got “bad” a couple years ago, i saw both.  and they both told me that my depression is situational.  it will come and go and i will probably have to deal with that for the rest of my life.  it’s the anxiety i need to watch and treat medically when necessary.  i can feel it physically sometimes when it gets really intense.  it’s scary to face head on, but i know that i have to.  i also realize that it has held me back for a lot of my life.  i don’t jump straight into relationships with friends or men.  i am too cautious.  it’s the thing that i most want to change.  i always say… i like to be spontaneous – when i can plan it all out.  haha!  but i really am trying to open up more and conquer that anxiety.

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