rough couple of days. i couldn’t seem to get my mind and body back on the same page. but i understand now after a grueling workout how much i need to take care of myself physically. if i take care of my body, it takes care of my mind. i need that for myself. and for some reason, i was denying myself my workouts, healthy eating (both overeating bad stuff and limiting food period), and positive thoughts.
but… i feel much better now. luckily, my “episodes” pass. and i know if they get bad enough, i need to go straight back to my doctor and/or counselor. when it got “bad” a couple years ago, i saw both. and they both told me that my depression is situational. it will come and go and i will probably have to deal with that for the rest of my life. it’s the anxiety i need to watch and treat medically when necessary. i can feel it physically sometimes when it gets really intense. it’s scary to face head on, but i know that i have to. i also realize that it has held me back for a lot of my life. i don’t jump straight into relationships with friends or men. i am too cautious. it’s the thing that i most want to change. i always say… i like to be spontaneous – when i can plan it all out. haha! but i really am trying to open up more and conquer that anxiety.