personal life

don’t ask ‘why?’ — ask ‘why not?’


i’ve been asking myself this lately… why not?

why not have an adventure?

why not try something new?

it’s so hard for me.  i like to control my situations in life.  anybody else???  haha

but it’s true.  i control everything i do with a death grip.  i don’t like to step outside my comfort zone.  that’s where it gets scary.  i don’t do scary well.

i have anxiety.  it runs in my family so at least i’m not the only one around who has to deal with it.  but sometimes it’s overwhelming how powerful it is.  i know that if someone observed me that they would notice it on my “off” days.

but i want to get out there and say “why not?” to things.  it’s kind of a dangerous road.  it could turn out really well or it could turn out not so well.  i learned that this weekend through a friend.  yes, spontaneity is fun, but you can over do it if you push it too much too fast.  i’m too old for that shit.

but i’m still open to new experiences and new friends.  i’m at a point in my life that i know what i want.  i’ve always heard that your 20s are to figure out who you are.  it’s really true.  i’m in the last few months of my 20s.  now is the time to transition into my 30s.  the time to embrace everything in my life.  the time to be very clear about who i am as a person. the time to pursue my dreams.

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