personal life

“don’t laugh at me, but maybe we could be each other’s soul mates?”

tomorrow will be one year after the death of one of my friends from college.  when i heard the news of his death, i cried immediately.  i was supposed to work the concession stand for some basketball games.  i just wanted to go home, but i couldn’t.  i wasn’t that close to him, but he was close to many of my friends.  he had a huge impact on them and the community.  i went to his funeral to support my friends and ended up mourning him right beside everyone else in the overflowing church.

this past weekend, a friend and i were talking about “soul mates”.  it came up because i was in a mood and complained about not even believing in soul mates anymore.  i figured i’m too old, jaded, and bitter to believe in them anymore.  bratty moment, i know.  these thoughts creep up though and sometimes they fly out of my mouth.

but she cautioned me against that and reminded me that anyone can be your soul mate.  best friends.  boyfriends.  husbands.  cousins.  i thought about that “sex and the city” episode where the girls debate the concept of soul mates.  it ends with charlotte’s line: “don’t laugh at me, but maybe we could be each other’s soul mates?”  i always loved that episode…

for some reason, i had forgotten that there are people that are put into your life to give you something you’re missing.  we talked about the soul mate she lost a year ago and how she still feels his presence in her life.  i shared some recent struggles with one of my own soul mates.

sometimes your soul mates have to leave you whether they choose to or not.  they may be with you for your entire life.  maybe you just get a few years or months with them.  but they were there with you for a purpose.  whether the person dies or they just choose not to live their life with you anymore, it’s still incredibly sad and you have to mourn the loss of the relationship.  whether it was your spouse, sister, best friend, boyfriend…in a lot of ways, it’s the same process.  it’s a difficult goodbye.  hopefully, you find closure no matter the situation.

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