one of the things that i’ve been struggling with lately is turning the big 3-0 in a few months. i don’t feel that old. well, sometimes when i get out of bed in the morning i do. but most of the time, i feel 22. on the inside. not so much not the outside as much anymore.
but i’m reminded every once in awhile like when a teenage boy holds the door for you, you say “thank you”, and he says “you’re welcome, ma’am”. it surprises me every time. i usually whisper loudly to whoever i’m with, “did he just ‘ma’am’ me?? that little shit…”.
i realize this is not the normal reaction. i should say, “thank you, young man. that’s very sweet.” but no. my instinct is disgust and anger.
but it’s happening regardless of if we want it to or not. we’re getting older. i am now more interested in spending my money on eye creams that actually work and a pair of good dress pants rather than beer and a new “going out shirt”.
it is sad in a way. but there are a lot of good things about getting older too. i know how to deal with hangovers. or i just don’t drink enough to get one. i am good at managing my money…most of the time. i know how to do my make-up and hair (not that it minds what i make it do). i’m learning to not care so much about what other people think. i will do things that “kids” do and i just don’t care. why not? i’m still able to do those things. so why the hell not? i’m gonna have fun till i’m not physically able to anymore.