sorry for the radio silence lately…
i’ve been going through it.
just been in a funk. it happens sometimes. i’ve learned to deal with it, but occasionally it holds on for longer than i’d like. the anxiety is the cause. i know and recognize that. but the blues, man? that always surprises me.
my fitness/food have been horrendous for the past two weeks. i’ve got to get back on it! my motivation is in the gutter and of course, i feel like crap about myself for not being able to make it happen like i was. i was on a roll! i was doing so well! and then all of a sudden… it just died. physically, i haven’t been feeling my best either. i knew something was wrong when i got a headache last week that still hasn’t really gone away. and i haven’t been sleeping very well. i’m ready to feel good again, to eat healthy food, and to actually enjoy a great workout.
now that school is ending, it feels like a new beginning. i’ll have some free time to get everything put back together and better than ever. this week is just the foundation.
i make mistakes. i know that i can come back from them. but i don’t like to admit them. sometimes i stay too quiet when i struggle. i have a hard time expressing it. i even wrote a post a few days ago, but i deleted it because after rereading it, i realized that it didn’t say what i wanted it to say. i wrote it with anger and frustration and not with real truth.
so it’s time to get back to work, to focus on what is really important. family, friends, students, and myself. and not necessarily in that order all the time. i’ve realized in the past couple of weeks that i need to put myself first sometimes, to speak up for myself, to defend how i feel, and to sometimes keep my mouth shut. i’m definitely not going to do it right all the time, but it’s important to keep trying and to start over when needed. so here i go again…