personal life

hope is the thing with feathers.

I’m not the silly romantic you think. I don’t want the heavens or the shooting stars. I don’t want gemstones or gold. I have those things already. I want…a steady hand. A kind soul. I want to fall asleep, and wake, knowing my heart is safe. I want to love, and be loved.  – Shana Abe

i look back on it now, and it seems like nothing. just a little blip on the radar. a tiny mark on my life’s timeline. even as it was happening, i kept reminding myself that it was nothing. but it wasn’t really.

i let myself have a little bit of hope. and the funny thing about hope is that it’s a gateway drug to so many other feelings.

i craved that hope. i had to have it to keep my feelings going. once the hope was gone, everything else collapsed too.

when it left me so quickly after it arrived, I will admit that for a moment, I felt the despair. i allowed myself to really experience the sadness and anger for a day or so. but i couldn’t let it sit and fester. i had to let it go. and quickly. i had to let all of it go… the hope, the happiness, the anger, the sorrow, the gloom.

i hadn’t really let myself grasp that hope in a long time. and while i had it, i felt good. really good. i was more confident and joyful.  i felt refreshed.

now it’s gone and it’s not so bad.  this doesn’t mean that hope is gone forever. i know it will come again.  it’s just time to start over again.

leave your comments below. i'd love to hear from you!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s