the other day i was making a pile of clothes to iron. (i hate ironing. i think it’s the most obnoxious chore besides dusting, which is why all my clothes are slightly wrinkled and my furniture always has a layer of dust on it.) and as i ironed each item, i tried it on…you know…just for kicks.
and i could zip most of my pants…but they didn’t really fit. i was reminded of one of my favorite tim gunn quotes: “just because it zips, doesn’t mean it fits.”
ain’t that the truth, tim!
luckily, it’s october and one of our fundraisers at school is buying coupons to wear jeans. now, this might not seem like that big of a deal, but to teachers it is. jeans days are the best. so i bought a whole bunch of those coupons. i can now wear dresses and jeans for the rest of the month until i get my shit together and am able to sit down in my dress pants again without splitting them up the back because i’ve gotten a little too bootylicious.
(it entertains me that my spell checker didn’t pick up on bootylicious. i guess it’s now an acceptable word for everyday speech? fine with me. even though it’s been out of style for about…i don’t know…ten years, i still like to use it sometimes when it’s appropriate.)
the reality is that i’ve gotten to the point that i’m uncomfortable. my clothes don’t fit well obviously. but it’s more than that. when i run, i can feel my ass shake. when i eat crappy food, my stomach hates me for no less than 48 hours. when i am standing, my stomach sticks out farther than it should. i’m just uncomfortable in my own body.
it’s not that i want to be skinny. skinny sucks. i was hungry, weak, and cranky during my (slightly) skinny phase many years ago. i just don’t want to be jiggly anymore. i want muscles again. it seems to take me twice or three times as long to lose weight than it is to gain it. i’ll get there, but i know it’ll take me awhile.
i’m finding my motivation again…slowly. i tend to get in a rut easily so when i found this new millionaire hoy workout, i had to do it. all of the moves are inspired by animals. some of them are just renamed, but some are things i’ve never seen before. it was just fun to embody some animals for 45 minutes. and that’s what i need to keep me moving forward for now – fun.