me: i’m taylor. i’m a emotional eater. and an under-exerciser. and lover of self-loathing.
my lovely readers: (in monotone) hi, taylor.
so i finally broke the streak of non-activity and overeating. it took me 22 days to get back on track. holy crap. i can’t remember the last time i went that long without working out.
there were a lot of highs and lows within those 22 days. and i let the lows get to me. i ate like crap to mask them. no matter what I tell myself, words (and actions) hurt. i may be thin-skinned but i own that. it affects me physically just as much as it does emotionally. i also avoided working out (some days on purpose) because i could. i was able to get away with it without any accountability for almost a month. it’s not like anyone can do the work for me, but having someone ask about how things are going helps me for some reason. maybe it’s the guilt or talking positively about it, but i need it.
i thought i had myself under control about a week and a half in, but i totally didn’t. so on day 23, i forced myself to get off my ever-expanding ass and get back to work. there were a few things that helped: having trouble zipping some dress pants for school, my sleeping was all off and this girl needs her sleep, a talk with my mom, and a general feeling of being uncomfortable.
while i was visiting my family, my mama had a heart-to-heart with me about my headaches. they’ve been way more frequent and more intense lately, and it has been worrying me because she suffers from chronic migraines. she’s been hospitalized – it’s that bad sometimes. i want to learn from her experiences and do what i can to help take care of them myself. i’ve already taken a couple simple medical steps but now it’s time for some tough cuts with my diet… that means no more bacon and other cured meats. i’m greatly reducing my cheese intake, paying special attention to avoiding aged and “fake” cheeses. i’m cutting out as many processed foods and preservatives as i can. (that delicious crap is a major trigger.) i’m avoiding most beers and some wines and mainly sticking with water, tea, and coffee. i’m focusing on whole grains, fish, organic chicken, veggies, and fruit. so the basics…basically. i knew that i needed to take these steps. i think I just had to hear someone else say it to me. i am hoping it will make a difference.
so there are a couple of more weeks until the holidays really hit. about 22 days, actually! 22 days i need to get back that i wasted in november. i’ve already started journaling again as a midway step back into calorie counting/food tracking. and i’m slowing getting back into my workouts. it sucks. it’s like starting over after that much time, but a girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do.
check out this post by eating bird food: 10 tips to stay healthy during the holiday season. (i love this list and want to put it on my fridge. i also stole/borrowed the picture from this post because i loved it too!)
here’s the abbreviated list (with my personal commentary):
- take a moderate approach – 80/20 all day errry day
- don’t deprive yourself – i’m shouldn’t deny myself holiday foods
- keep the stress at bay – by working out
- move more – again, by working out
- eat normally – normal sized portions and balance!
- don’t let one bad day get to you – this is a big one.
- at parties, bring one healthy dish – for the option for myself and others
- it’s okay to say “no” – and i don’t need to feel guilty about it
- hydrate when drinking alcohol – to keep the headaches (and hangovers) at bay
- remember the real reason for the season – to celebrate Christ’s birth, to spend time with family, to enjoy myself