HERE is part one from last year. keep in mind i teach high school students. 🙂
HERE is part two from last year.
1. one day, my honors class finished a little early and they were popping each others’ backs. whatever they gotta do to kill a few minutes before lunch… but then a wrestler tried to do it to a heavier kid and it just didn’t work out. so then the kid said, “it’s alright. i’m fat”. that caught my attention so i paid more attention. now, this group is extremely close. there are eight of them and they’re all good friends. i knew they wouldn’t be mean to each other. but then they started sharing their weights (girls and boys). i was shocked at how comfortable they were with each other. then kid from before said, “it’s alright if you call me fat. i am. but it’s just a description. it doesn’t say anything about who i really am.” my jaw kind of dropped. then all the kids agreed and shared the not so good adjectives that they’ve been called and then the right ones. it was just a special moment that you don’t get very often.
2. i whited out a stray pen line on the screen under the document camera and a student said, “ma’am, can you please draw the line back in there.”
me: it doesn’t matter.
student: but ma’am, black lines matter. (SO serious)
another student: no, man! ALL lines matter.
3. me: did you just get five of the same blue marker?
student: you told us to get five markers.
4. i love this kid’s answers on every test he turned in. he’s so bright and his answers are correct, but he makes me laugh which is all i really want.
6. me: please stop impersonating austin powers and get back to work.
student: yeah, baby!!
me: no, seriously….
7. student: i need to add more to this ho.
me: excuse me???
student: i need to add more to this…respectable woman.
me: how about just saying “my assignment”?!
8. student: ma’am, did you know that hitler only had one ball???
me: what did i tell you about the “did you know”s? i’ve hit my limit for the day.
student: (very seriously) but ma’am…did you know he only had one ball?
me: that’s what they say…
student: (thoughtfully) maybe that’s why he was so angry all the time…
9. student: so in the video, he said that the romans were after “booty from abroad”.
me: (gritting my teeth) yes…. i knew i should have picked a different video.
student: well, my question is…did the broad give up the booty?
me: oh, geez. stop right there.
10. dang it, braeden! got me again. every day for weeks, this senior student would come in and write me a funny message on my board. so i started looking out for him and trying to intercept him in the act. obviously, i was off my game this day.