true crime

3•19 | murderino monday

diving into MFM has really changed my perspective on myself and i am much more open about my interest in true crime.  the community is amazing.  it’s supportive, diverse, open, and socially conscious.  but one of the things that happened when we began to share on such a large scale was/is that it is drawn into the arena of entertainment.  we forget sometimes that the people discuss, dissect, ridicule, and obsess over are real people.

during christmas break, i visited my parents.  it was a rough visit for me (my own doing – i was being an asshole) but my momerino and i had a moment when she shared this story with me.  she let me borrow the book about her friend’s murder.  i had actually seen the book before but i didn’t know that it was about someone she knew.

the book was written by the victim’s mother.  it is not the best true crime book out there to be honest.  but her mom put the story together in a loving way.  i was surprised that i knew some of the people in the book and others were leaders of my community even today.  it was shocking to see how the police did not handle the case correctly.  cathy was an abused wife who also happened to be a flawed person.  she made mistakes like we all do.  but when it came down to it, her disappearance wasn’t taken seriously by the cops because she didn’t fit the mold they were expecting from a wife and mother.

luckily, her mother and other family and friends never let up.  they searched, they made contacts, they investigated.  they did the work.  unfortunately, cathy was gone the whole time.  she had been murdered and dumped like garbage into a field by the airport.  her husband was finally arrested after far too long and is currently in prison for the crime.

it was strange to read about what happened after cathy was found.  the family was torn.  cathy and her husband had three sons that were caught in the middle.  the kids were lost and bounced around between family members on both sides.  her husband’s family was conflicted about the murder and allowed him to live near them and visit his and cathy’s sons while he was out on bail.  after the trial, he was granted a retrial and they had to do it all over again.  i can’t imagine what cathy’s family went through.

i read the book in just a couple days.  each time i would finish a couple chapters, i would call my mom to talk about the story and cathy herself.  not only did the story bring us together, but it also let my mom talk about, and grieve again in a way, her friend.  i heard lots of stories about how lively and fun cathy was and how she pushed my mom to do fun things outside of her comfort zone.  it showed me a different side of my mom too.  but that’s how i’ll remember cathy – as a real person not fully defined by her murder.

at the same time that i was writing this post, two murders hit the MFM community.  lita byrnes and samantha fields.  samantha along with her two children were murdered by her husband.  lita’s murder is still unsolved.  i hate that so much.  she was an active member of a true crime community and we don’t know who did this to her.  i hope to god that we find out just to give her and the community some peace.

but i’ve learned some things from these murders and of cathy’s.   i want to be more conscious of how i view the people in the stories i pour over each day because their stories – the whole story – are real and important.

as always, stay sexy and don’t get murdered.

click HERE to check out the my favorite murder podcast. (start listening from the beginning!)
click HERE to see my other true crime posts!

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